i don’t smoke but if i did it would be to Purity Ring and Purity Ring only

It’s called “Snow Angel” by Mike Patton. If you look up the soundtrack to The Place Beyond the Pines he created almost all of the music for it. But anyway, that song has a 10 minute version which I just put on a constant loop basically! So I’d look for that.

someone take a barefooted night walk with me and when we get back we can rinse off our dirty feet with the hose and climb into my bed (i promise the sheets are cold, all the fans are on and you won’t see a thing except for what you feel) and you can tuck a wildflower behind my ear that you picked up along the way, and i’ll read your palm and you can write me letters on my back with your finger tips and we’ll just fall asleep and it doesn’t need to be anything more than that

You can’t tell the sleepy queen to wake up. Sorry, but I have to disagree with you. We all have our own opinions. I’ll be sleeping while you preach yours ok, I was speaking my part and you don’t have to agree much at all. We all run our lives differently. ZzzzZzZzz

i want every single dress from free people god dammit why can’t i afford life

I’ve been writing a lot more to myself, lately. I’ve been keeping a lot of my thoughts in journals and on random receipts and pages of things I could find that are tucked into it’s pages. I’ve been so private lately, for the most part. I don’t know, I’m going through a really passionate stage of just spending time with myself, nourishing myself and learning and exploring myself. And it’s vivid, and it’s terrifying and it’s everything. I’m thinking of compiling a lot of things I’ve written the past few months in quiet into some sort of a book. I don’t like the word book, because to me that word symbolizes some sort of organization of thoughts. Some sort of story that begins somewhere and maybe lets off somewhere else. But my thoughts and my writings aren’t like that. They’ll drop you right in the middle of a page and then there’s a new beginning a few pages later. It’s so scattered and all over the place but it’s sort of just a calm in the chaos type of thing. So, with that I don’t know what much else I can say, I am sorry you miss me that way though it makes me all warm n mushy to know that people do. But, maybe, I’ll publish something that no one’s gotten their hands on or their hearts on but me, and you can get it for yourself to hold and read things that are so stranger to you that it’ll have been worth all of that missing. Missing is such a good thing. Isn’t it nice to miss things?

I think that in sadness is where we find the most human pieces of ourselves. This is all going to sound so contradictory, and I wish I could explain it better, but I feel much lighter and almost in an odd way happier when I have something to be sad about. Having that typed out and reading it back seems so wrong to say, so off. I don’t know if anyone could understand that. But maybe you do, and maybe that’s why you wrote me this message, and if one person out of all of you understands that then I’m okay with it. When I am entirely happy it almost seems fake, it doesn’t feel like an entirely complete and whole and honest energy, but when I am carrying myself gently and tucking those little pieces of sadness into my pockets and under my tongue and hiding them until I’m up at night when everything else seems to be asleep - that’s god honestly one of the strongest times I feel life. Just life in it’s purest and rawest form. Happiness to me isn’t really even a feeling, or much of an emotion. It’s so steady that it seems unnatural, when an emotion is constant like that I don’t know, it just doesn’t make sense in my head. And at the same time while saying all of this I can’t say that I want to ache all day every day from an encompassing sadness, but I just find myself there. That’s where I write. That’s where the fans on at night and cold sheets mean something. That’s when anything means anything at all, every little thing is desperate to mean something, and it does. Ugh, baby. I totally get this. And I don’t know if you’ll get this but I hope you get this even if no one else does. Sadness is a wonderful thing. Sadness is who we are.

The Place Beyond the Pines, Blue Valentine, Silverlinings Playbook, A Walk to Remember, One Day, Like Crazy, The Notebook (clearly), Time Traveler’s Wife, The Vow, [Dear John, The Lucky One], Charlie St. Cloud, Titanic, P.S. I Love You, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Love and Other Drugs, Girl Interrupted, Marley & Me (literally can’t watch it because I sob), Romeo + Juliet, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, and Tangled if you’re feeling light, hehe.

I’m sure people will suggest things on top of these, but that’s where I’d start.

Sure baby! I’m constantly downloading new things so um okay lets see. If you like to create/manage things then I’d suggest: Bakery Story, Home Design Story, HayDay (so cute I’m newly obsessed), Sushigoround, and the cutest cutest Kitty World, Kity Kawaii (both Hello Kitty so presh), and definitely LINE Play!  If you like word/trivia types of things I play: Family Feud, Plants vs Zombies, Plague Inc, and Little Things. I also play Adventure Time’s: Adventures of Ooo cos I’m obsessed so ya!

I’m not entirely sure yet! I’ve showered and now I’m making myself some yummy pasta, my mom found some that was gluten-free which I was too frustrated to when I went shoppin. When she gets home from work I think we’re gonna go to a few natural markets and grocers to find some pizzas and breads that I can eat because I am craving so bad. I’m thinking of going to a yoga class later on but I haven’t decided yet. I don’t know! Classes just ended and my orientation for Victoria’s Secret isn’t until Saturday, so I’m pretty okay with doing just about nothing.

lying in the dark, thinking and feeling and hearing nothing other than this

who knows he deleted me/blocked me on basically everything, i’m not too worried about it though! if someone’s trying that hard to keep me out of their life i’m not meant to be in it, i’ve got more important things to feel and live with than stupid nutty boys

i wish it was illegal for boys to start developing feelings for you until you’ve established a solid and un-obligatory friendship i just hate borders being crossed so early on like no i can’t get to know you in an interested way just let me get to know you in a friend way and then maybe i’ll be interested why doesn’t anyone do that anymore

i am shaking i am so excited that i just got hired cute bras n panties for life