♔ -- Making themes has always been incredibly relaxing and just soothing for me, however over the years there have been many incidents where people have blatantly taken my coding and tweaked/claimed it as their own. I will always keep my themes up and continue creating more so long as I'm on here, but please, please respect the credit where it is due!
♔ -- You may edit the layouts I've made in any way you would like. All I ask is that the credit stays right where I have put it, unless clearly shown elsewhere! To continue onto my themes, simply hit the 'forgive' link below!
♔ -- Please note: I no longer answer any theme questions. I will be posting a theme FAQ page which I will add to frequently, but until it is up please refrain from asking them. My apologies. Of course, if there are any serious issues feel free to contact me on my main blog.
As my own neurosis became more subdued I found myself unconsciously drawn to female characters who exhibited signs of behaviors I had recognized in myself: repression, delusion, jealousy, paranoia, hysteria. But these issues didn’t magically disappear; they just became buried beneath business and activity, and came back to sideswipe me at inopportune moments.
We have more patience, or perhaps more empathy, for fictional characters than we do their real-life counterparts. Faced with neurosis in film and literature, we want to investigate rather than avoid. If watching horror films is cathartic because it provides a temporary feeling of control over the one unknown factor that can’t be controlled (death), then wouldn’t it make sense that a crazy person would find relief in onscreen histrionics?
House of Psychotic Women: An Autobiographical Topography of Female Neurosis in Horror and Exploitation Films, Kier-La Janisse (via funeral)
to whoever sent the anonymous message telling me to write, thank you
i know i’ve gotten a few that ask me to
but you told me, and i don’t know, just thank you
we sat at the bar, and it’s like all i could do was tell you everything awful about me
all the things i didn’t want you to know
i gave you a list of all of my anxieties like some fucked up patient and for hours we narrowed it down and it came down to this
i can’t stand when others see me before i can see them
i do everything i can to avoid that premature anticipation of when you’ll put your hand on mine or how i’m suppose to get used to the way someone feels all over again
there are only three other beds i can sleep in besides my own without getting up and driving home at some odd hour of the morning just to crawl back in
how you’ll know i’m comfortable when you can wrap your arms around my frame and for once i won’t think of something to say
well i’m always talking, you said you were quiet and i guess we just got fortunate that i knew how to fill up the time with ceaseless lips
i didn’t tell you many of the good things, and i’m not bitter enough to believe that there aren’t plenty of reasons i could get you to stay
the thing is it’s not that i want everyone to leave, i just don’t know where to tell you all to go
Cancer. Aka if there were a list of zodiacs ranked from stable to emotionally unstable, i’d be at the bottom.
i know it sounds the most cliche in the world, but i’m real damn good at pushing people away
its like my brain lets me get excited about things, gives me that initial excitement and that giddiness whenever you’re around that person, you know just a cute little taste, and then day by day it just steals away my interest and pushes me into this little shell that doesn’t want to talk, doesn’t want to hang out, just wants to be alone
it’s like some defense mechanism that i don’t fucking know how to control and i’m really starting to wonder how long this is going to keep up
you know some assholes deserve to get pushed out of my life and i’m thankful that i was able to look past them, but there’s some good ones
and there’s a good one right now and god dammit its just happening all over again and its like all i can do is sit and watch, but they don’t believe me. i don’t know how they could.
why would anyone believe i’m not in control.