i.     ii.     iii.    iv.    v.    t.  —   vii.    viii.


"Festival" by Richard Bush for Dutch #36


A piebald deer is  a white-tailed deer, that has a spotting pattern of large white and black patches. The color of a piebald’s skin underneath its coat may vary between black (under the black patches of hair) and pink (under the white patches). The coloring is generally asymmetrical, resulting in deer with abnormally wild brown and white coloration . Many animals also exhibit coloration of the irises of the eye that match the surrounding skin. 

to whoever sent the anonymous message telling me to write, thank you

i know i’ve gotten a few that ask me to

but you told me, and i don’t know, just thank you

Anonymous: ten line poem, right now GO

we sat at the bar, and it’s like all i could do was tell you everything awful about me

all the things i didn’t want you to know

i gave you a list of all of my anxieties like some fucked up patient and for hours we narrowed it down and it came down to this

i can’t stand when others see me before i can see them

i do everything i can to avoid that premature anticipation of when you’ll put your hand on mine or how i’m suppose to get used to the way someone feels all over again

there are only three other beds i can sleep in besides my own without getting up and driving home at some odd hour of the morning just to crawl back in

how you’ll know i’m comfortable when you can wrap your arms around my frame and for once i won’t think of something to say

well i’m always talking, you said you were quiet and i guess we just got fortunate that i knew how to fill up the time with ceaseless lips

i didn’t tell you many of the good things, and i’m not bitter enough to believe that there aren’t plenty of reasons i could get you to stay

the thing is it’s not that i want everyone to leave, i just don’t know where to tell you all to go

Anonymous: What's your zodiac sign?

Cancer. Aka if there were a list of zodiacs ranked from stable to emotionally unstable, i’d be at the bottom.

i know it sounds the most cliche in the world, but i’m real damn good at pushing people away

its like my brain lets me get excited about things, gives me that initial excitement and that giddiness whenever you’re around that person, you know just a cute little taste, and then day by day it just steals away my interest and pushes me into this little shell that doesn’t want to talk, doesn’t want to hang out, just wants to be alone

it’s like some defense mechanism that i don’t fucking know how to control and i’m really starting to wonder how long this is going to keep up

you know some assholes deserve to get pushed out of my life and i’m thankful that i was able to look past them, but there’s some good ones

and there’s a good one right now and god dammit its just happening all over again and its like all i can do is sit and watch, but they don’t believe me. i don’t know how they could. 

why would anyone believe i’m not in control.

Anonymous: I'm sure you could guess who it is.

ya, no, i tried that and i don’t really have the energy for guessing games so i guess i’ll just never know unless you decide to actually tell me.

Lea Seydoux by Eliot Lee Hazel for Bullet, 2011