i.     ii.     iii.    iv.    v.    t.  —   vii.    viii.


"YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN IM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU."

Holy shit. Best ending lines of an episode ever. Vamps is perfect you go Stefan you sexy fuck.

Trust issues stop when you allow yourself to open up and be devoured whole, to understand and accept that you will be exhausted, torn at your seams, tugged by strings you hadn’t known existed, and maybe even left. It is all a part of it, so do not tell me you are in love if you have not let yourself become consumed entirely by that fear, and become so comfortable that you let it sleep beside you, in the form of their hand on your thigh.

So many people try to tell you that letting yourself go is not the healthy way to love. I say it matters more what is the hungriest way to love.

cinnamon french toast and orange juice and victorias secret silk robe and vampire diaries because i do night time right

my mom just came into my room and said that we never talk and i don’t know if it’s more depressing to hear that or to realize that there hasn’t been anything to talk about wow

You know what’s awful but equally satisfying at the same time? When you know it’s the right time to be with someone but there are so many factors working against it, like distance. So many people have told me in the past to wait until Kyle gets out of the Navy to be with him, how? How could anyone do that? How could I make myself wait two years when I want him now? What if he were to find someone else, am I expected to just sit back with that and accept that it happened because I didn’t hold on to him? For what reason? For what reason, honestly. Two years spent based on ignoring what you want is useless. I know right now as much of a struggle as it can be managing how far away he is and how busy his schedule is that I want him, and I want him regardless of the struggles and regardless of the schedule and regardless of the miles in between. I want him and I want him now, and so I have him, and I’m keeping him and loving him and taking care of him. Because now is all we fucking have, so forget all those people that told me to live my life and come back to it down the road. Coming back does not exist. You fight for what you want especially if it involves another person to share yourself with. 

i just wanna lay naked in cold sheets while my bebe gives me back rubbins is that too much to ask

If you are lost, read the book Eat, Pray, Love - and then watch the film. Please, do.

bringing your laptop to pee with you is literally the best thing

feeling awkward around family you haven’t seen in forever is the worst feeling ever god i remember giving my cousin a hug one christmas and i accidentally touched her boob on the way out of it and i was like half apologizing half laughing it off awkwardly that still haunts me FUCK

The best set of lyrics in any song I know: “I don’t have a choice, but I still choose you. Oh and I don’t love you, but I always will.”

if you consider your facebook relationship status as the ultimate determination of whether or not you have someone or not then get off of the internet and immerse yourself into what is known as the outside world, what ever happened to just knowing someone was yours being enough?

I buy a dozen too many books because having them piled up around me assures me that any rough day could be so quickly escaped so not an ounce of stress could sneak in. Books are just my princess protective fortress okay. Okay.

Do you ever have those nights where you just feel so disconnected with everything? Where you’re not necessarily sad but just detached. You’re just there, but not really. You know? You know? Ok.

The main flaw in the people who try and flaunt their happiness in the number of people they have on their side don’t realize that they are defeating the entire purpose, and that one person standing alone claiming happiness means worlds more than happiness gained by numbers.

I really do honestly feel almost “blessed” to be as happy as I am, as young as I am. It’s so sad to think that nowadays finding someone in this world that is truly happy as happiness goes is such a rare thing. A lot of people say they’re happy, a lot of people want so badly to be happy that they convince themselves that they are. At 20 years old to have discovered the spirituality that I have and the overall healing just my own mind can do is fucking incredible. I literally hardly have words to even describe the changes I’ve made in my life just all mentally. At the beginning of 2012 I was such a mess, I was so unhappy with myself in every way possible, I tried a relationship with someone that I am with now when I was in the darkest point of my life and it wasn’t even fair for me to do so, because I wasn’t okay with myself in the slightest. I was so dependent, I sought my happiness in other people and no single drop of it came from just me, from sitting in bed like I can now with nothing but a book in my lap and empty time left alone to think. I never wanted that before. I never wanted to be left alone with my thoughts, left with time to dissect what I was feeling and what I wasn’t. As the year went on I honestly found myself, and every single day I continue to find out more and I really believe I’m getting stronger. To find that mental break within yourself, to spend time with yourself, is the best gift you could really ever have. And it’s all in your control. I had never been so low in my life, I felt nothing and at times I felt everything, but all together it was just a numbing sadness and I was so empty, no matter how much I tried to tell myself that there were things around me creating this idea of “happiness”. Letting myself suffer was the best thing I have ever done for myself. It seems so counterproductive, to let yourself drown in the sadness and the pit that you’re in just to achieve a chance at a truly happy life, but it’s the only way you can do it. I look at my sister who is in her thirties and I see her struggling with herself, she isn’t happy and it just webs off, she isn’t content with her mind and so she is not content with her body, she isn’t content with her body and so she isn’t content with another appreciating it, she isn’t content with another’s admiration and so she could never be content in any relationship, and she won’t be until she steps out and lets herself fall and stops caving in to let people try and repair her or bring her back that happiness. To think that at such a young age I did that for myself, that I overcame my own mind and have grown spiritually into so much lighter and happier of a being, I can’t even tell you how beautiful everything seems to me now. I am so fucking healthy and happy, all that’s left that I need to work on is the least important part, the outside shell, getting myself in shape in a positive way now that my mind is at ease. A healthy inside makes for a healthy outside, and trying to work your way towards it the opposite way will never work. I am thankful that I learned that so young. As fucked up as it might sound I am thankful for the countless people in my life that could have taken care of me or treated me the way I should have been, but chose not to, the ones that tore me apart, that lied to me, the ones that left me and the ones that continued to wear me out and eventually put me in a place where I couldn’t get any lower. Thank you for that. Without that, I wouldn’t have gotten as low as I did, and I wouldn’t have had to suffer like I did to gain what I have now. Sure there are small little things that get to me as with everyone else, but I see everything differently. I feel everything differently. I am happy with my boyfriend because I am happy with myself, and thinking back in my past relationships, I still stand by the fact that I know that I can love with a ferocity and depth that not many other people still can, I know that I treat who I’m with so fucking well because I appreciate love above all else. But now that I, myself, am happy as an individual, am happy and okay coming home to a cold empty bed, it makes it all the more intoxicating to have his weight against me. It just makes me appreciate absolutely everything more. I know, now, that I have a real shot in this fucked up world. I know that I can make someone as happy as I am, and that I am in the absolute ideal mind frame and set to have another person at my side to call my own. All because I suffered. Discovering yourself is such a dark and rough process, but when you wake up without a constant weight on your chest, knowing that you are truly happy, there isn’t anything better. There honestly isn’t. I am happy. Fully. How many people can say that and mean it?